🌧️ Wiper Wars: The Squeak Awakens

Welcome back to DIY Dad Quests, where every heroic saga starts with a mysterious noise, a roll of duct tape, and one dad's blind optimism.

It was a rainy Tuesday. Visibility: 4 feet. Mood: Dramatic. My windshield wipers flopped back and forth like wet noodles at a pool party.

My kid asked, “Why does it sound like a dolphin with a sinus problem?” And I knew… it was time.

“Grab the toolbox, young Padawan. We’re going to war.”

🎯 Today's Quest: Replace the Wipers

You’d think changing windshield wipers would be easy. You’d be wrong.

Because somewhere between locating the right size blades and trying not to accidentally catapult one across the driveway, it becomes a full-blown epic.

🧰 Wiper Replacement Loadout

• New wiper blades (eventually found under a pile of expired coupons)

• Screwdriver (used once, dropped twice)

• Safety glasses (optional unless you're scared of rogue springs)

• A step stool (because the van is just a little too tall)

• One child to hold the instruction manual and read nothing helpful

• 
  

⚔️ The Battle Plan

1. Lift the Wiper Arm – Like gently disarming a mousetrap with a bad attitude.

2. Press the Tab – Or guess where the tab might be while muttering ancient dad curses.

3. Slide It Off – It never slides. It clings like it knows what’s coming.

4. Attach New Blade – You’ll try to click it in, miss the slot 3 times, and eventually shout,

   “There! It’s in! Probably!”

5. Test It – Turn them on. Watch them squeak. Question your life choices.

   🧒 Kid Commentary Throug hout:

6. “Are you supposed to bend it like that?”

7. “Do you think it’s waterproof?”

8. “Want me to Google a video instead of watching you suffer?”

9. 
   

✅ End Result:

• New wipers installed

• Visibility restored

• Dignity… questionable

• One squirrel startled when a rogue blade flung into the bushes